The Fourth Stooge.
In Euclydian geometry, three points define a plane. According to Eastern traditions, number four is a number linked to the inauspicious. A Taoist premise says that "One generates number Two, Two generates number Three and Three generates everything". Christian tradition synthesizes the Theological entity as a trinity (Father, Son, Holy Guacamole). Hegelian dialectics take this Law of Three to the realm of logic and reason (thesis, antithesis and synthesis, which is the result of the dynamics between the two first... to make a long story short).
If you take a deep look (or just a well-intended glimpse), you'll notice that language (and culture, the sum of all languages) operates within the confines of these three points. The space visually drawn by these three blind mice holds all we know, think and speak about the world.
But number four is inauspicious and infused with ookiespookie connotations. The fouth point is located in that place that exceeds our language and comprehension (be it logical of physical). Traditional magic (and theological) systems accept the Rule of Three as a means to affect reality.
... yet there is a fourth path we have consciously neglected for pragmatical purposes since it evades any dialectic.
Have you ever wondered if there was a Fourth Stooge?
When I was a kid, I used to watch reruns from the Three Stooges and, as a kid, I found their slapstick comedy hillarious. Bear in mind: I never was an average kid, so I used to find funny some things my contemporaries would never laugh at. Years went by and then I realized that Hegelian dialectics applied to the dynamics between Curly (or Shemph, or Curly Joe), Larry and Moe: Moe was the thesis (the leader with a purpose), Curly was the antithesis (the fool whose idiocy opposed to Moe's purpose) and Larry was the synthesis (the bona-fide compadre, who attempted to help to the compleition of Moe's purpose and tried to control Curly's enthropic foolishness). But I recently tried to imagine how would it be if there was a Fourth Stooge.
Abandon all hope all Ye who would answer: "Well... it'd be called the Four Stooges!".
In a world of Platonic lights and shadows, there are little chances to experiment this unknown realm. There is something I called the "poetic void", which is the substance we try to reach through magic, science and most of our disciplines.
Yet we remain restricted by our dychothomy between Good and Bad, Light and Shadows and their endless semantics. Ok, some have accepted there are gradients between these two, but these gradients are still subjected to the Law of Three. 0=2 (a Taoist equation on which balance is the result of positive 1 plus negative 1, yet it underlines the need of these two basic principles... that's pretty much the Law of Three...)
However, these pants are too tight for some of us to wear. Our Western Judeo-Christian tradition is a tight pair of slacks with no space for our crotch. Whatever's outside the three cardinal points, the Holy Trinity (The ether of the Father, the earthly trascendance of the Son and the widespread sanctimonious hoo-haa of the Holy Guacamole) is evil and it will eat your soul and make you kill babies in the name of whatever demon you can pronounce from the Solomon's Clefs and make you buy more Black Eyed Peas albums! Beware! Trespassing these boundaries will make your testicles swallow (even if you're a girl), will give you bad breath and make you an insurance salesman for all eternity!
The fourth point is Satan. It's kind of arbitrary, but that's how we've been taught. Whatever steps out of the triangle, is evil by default. No wonder witch trials during the Inquisition were so... arbitrary, to say the least. It was Catch 22... wether you were proven a witch or not, you'd die, since you no longer were inside the Triad and that made you a paradox, an abomination. If you didn't put your left foot in in the Holy Hokey-Pokey, you could pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.
See, that's one of the many reasons I have to loathe the use of Inverted Christian paraphernalia (aside of the lack of finesse of some wanton Satanists, to begin with). Blasphemy traps us inside the cultural triangle. Even though the prophane use of Holy imagery is a great way to shut some fundamentalists up and have some kicks, it should be used carefully as a belligerance tool and shold NEVER be used in rituals, in my opinion. Remember: it takes the same amount of faith to step on a cross or to kiss it. And if your faith is placed in something else besides your own might, skills and knowledge, how do you expect to experiment all the mysteries outside the triangle?
Through a silly game of associations, I realized that I could actually imagine the Fourth Stooge. He was just like Iggy Pop: a frantic, energetic entertainer, willing to indulge in some of the most ludicruous antics to amuse the audience. Imagine that: while Curly (or Shemp or Curly Joe), Larry and Moe were stuck and restricted to their usual slapstick grimoire, Iggy would roll in broken glass, spread himself with peanut butter and get naked to the audience's surprise and disgust... and maybe, to the audience's surprise and delight...
Then again: Abandon all hope all Ye who would think and say "Iggy and The Stooges? Dude, that's so faaaaar out, maaaaaan!"
So, here's another ritual, complimentary to the "Wash and Wear Conscience ritual".
******The Ookiespookie Invocation of the Fourth Stooge******
The intention of this ritual is to celebrate and, in some way, experience the Fouth Dimension of Reason in a guttural, sensorial way. Since this ritual is kind of abrassive, it is adviced to White Light magicians to draw a protection circle and be quite meticulous with the further cleansing rituals. As usual, these rituals lean towards Satanic magic but can be adapted to other denominations.
Remember that rituals work as a circuit: There is a source of energy (be it an element, a deity, a demon or the warlock's/witch's own energy), a conductor (the invocations and use of symbols) which lead to a result (think of a lightbulb getting lit), a switch to control the flow of energy (the opening and closing of the ritual) and some isolation (usually, the banishing rituals or some magick ascepsia is in order).
For this ritual you need:
- A Gong or a rich, resonating bell.
- Elixir. I strongly suggest one of my own, which I call "Sweet Tooth"
On a whiskey glass, dip two or three spoonfuls of maple syrup (if you can get natural Vermont or Canadian maple syrup, even better. If not, regular Aunt Jemima will do. Whatever you do, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DIET SYRUPS OR BUTTER-FLAVORED SYRUPS! the foretaste is nasty!), then fill with bourbon (Jack Daniels is the best suited for this purposes... any bourbon will do. Don't try to use Scotch, since it's a bloody shame to take a 12-years bottle and mix it with anything.). Remember to be wise: If you're gonna drink, don't drive. Like George Carlin said: "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck".
- Something to eat afterwards. A table of cheeses, smoked meats, red fruits (such as red apples, strawberries, cherries...) and prosciutto goes perfectly well.
- Cinnamon incense sticks.
- Music. To honor the Fourth Stooge, I'd suggest "Raw Power". What a great record...
- Some elegant attire is in order. Personally, I think robes and cloaks are attached to certain Medieval aesthetic which is counter-productive, since it reinforces the Law of Three. Instead of hoods, you should go for animal masks so you can freely express yourself throughout the ritual's peak.
- Candles. Red and purple candles are the best choice. If your affiliations demand black and/or white candles, observe the protocols but make sure there are plenty of colored candles to light the room.
The ritual starts with the Gong or bell rung nine times by the officing Priest/Priestess or both, in unison. Proper invocations are made, the elixir is shared in a toast.
The Priest/Priestess reads aloud:
"Within the confines of the Triangle
I have realized that my Spirit
can no longer feed from Light or Shadows
nor from the boundaries of both.
(If there's a congregation, they should repeat every line after it's read After each passage is repeated, the congregation must hit the table with the right hand four times in a marching demeanor, building up speed and passion as the ritual is performed).
They taught me that all the colors
that have embellished my life
are nothing but black and white
and all that is between.
They have confined me
within their dogmas
and their fears
and put a price to my head.
They have confined me
within three cardinal points
that lead nowhere.
that lead towards a void.
They have turned gold into charcoal
and silver into lead.
I can no longer taste with pleasure
the fruits from the Tree of Wisdom.
(The Priest/Priestess reads with building crescendo. It is expected that the congregation will follow with bursting passion.)
Well, foul game won't hold me back!
No veils will fool my sight!
I shall escape from the three-cornered prison!
I shall see what no one ever dared to look in the eye!
For I spit in the face of fear!
I won't pay for the Truth I deserve!
It is my privilege as a miracle of creation
to revel in this hidden realm!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
For I shall not fear what's real!
For I shall not fear what's real!
For I shall NOT FEAR WHAT'S REAL!
FOR I SHALL NOT FEAR WHAT'S REAL!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
(The "SHUU-RAAH!" passage is repeated four times, with guttural gusto, rolling the bowels. This exclamation is just a phonetic way to de-attach from linguistic thoughts and induce some bravado amongst the congregation or in solitary rituals. It has no real meaning, it's just some kind of an abrassive mantra. Once certain levels of exhaustion arise and consciousness seems partially defeated by a trance, the Priest/Priestess reads:)
I will never go back,
yet I'll wander through the ruins
of the forge, that once was my prison,
in peace.
I will never forget,
that there is a fourth side
that lives within me,
through and around me.
My mind is fertile again,
open in virginal expectation
to quiet sunsets
and vibrant sundawns.
(The Priest/Priestess says "so it is done" and rings the Gong or bell nine times. The Elixir is served for everyone as they get ready to eat and have a pleasant evening. If the "Wash And Wear Conscience" is performed beforehand, the Gong or bell will be rung ony after both of the rituals are performed and the Elixir will only be served once... we don't want to puke in our most diabolically sexy attire or inside our piggy mask, do we?).
There you go. I hope you like your flirt with the Fourth Stooge.
VINCIT!
Y.I.S.
Rev. Jakob Koshkat
If you take a deep look (or just a well-intended glimpse), you'll notice that language (and culture, the sum of all languages) operates within the confines of these three points. The space visually drawn by these three blind mice holds all we know, think and speak about the world.
But number four is inauspicious and infused with ookiespookie connotations. The fouth point is located in that place that exceeds our language and comprehension (be it logical of physical). Traditional magic (and theological) systems accept the Rule of Three as a means to affect reality.
... yet there is a fourth path we have consciously neglected for pragmatical purposes since it evades any dialectic.
Have you ever wondered if there was a Fourth Stooge?
When I was a kid, I used to watch reruns from the Three Stooges and, as a kid, I found their slapstick comedy hillarious. Bear in mind: I never was an average kid, so I used to find funny some things my contemporaries would never laugh at. Years went by and then I realized that Hegelian dialectics applied to the dynamics between Curly (or Shemph, or Curly Joe), Larry and Moe: Moe was the thesis (the leader with a purpose), Curly was the antithesis (the fool whose idiocy opposed to Moe's purpose) and Larry was the synthesis (the bona-fide compadre, who attempted to help to the compleition of Moe's purpose and tried to control Curly's enthropic foolishness). But I recently tried to imagine how would it be if there was a Fourth Stooge.
Abandon all hope all Ye who would answer: "Well... it'd be called the Four Stooges!".
In a world of Platonic lights and shadows, there are little chances to experiment this unknown realm. There is something I called the "poetic void", which is the substance we try to reach through magic, science and most of our disciplines.
Yet we remain restricted by our dychothomy between Good and Bad, Light and Shadows and their endless semantics. Ok, some have accepted there are gradients between these two, but these gradients are still subjected to the Law of Three. 0=2 (a Taoist equation on which balance is the result of positive 1 plus negative 1, yet it underlines the need of these two basic principles... that's pretty much the Law of Three...)
However, these pants are too tight for some of us to wear. Our Western Judeo-Christian tradition is a tight pair of slacks with no space for our crotch. Whatever's outside the three cardinal points, the Holy Trinity (The ether of the Father, the earthly trascendance of the Son and the widespread sanctimonious hoo-haa of the Holy Guacamole) is evil and it will eat your soul and make you kill babies in the name of whatever demon you can pronounce from the Solomon's Clefs and make you buy more Black Eyed Peas albums! Beware! Trespassing these boundaries will make your testicles swallow (even if you're a girl), will give you bad breath and make you an insurance salesman for all eternity!
The fourth point is Satan. It's kind of arbitrary, but that's how we've been taught. Whatever steps out of the triangle, is evil by default. No wonder witch trials during the Inquisition were so... arbitrary, to say the least. It was Catch 22... wether you were proven a witch or not, you'd die, since you no longer were inside the Triad and that made you a paradox, an abomination. If you didn't put your left foot in in the Holy Hokey-Pokey, you could pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.
See, that's one of the many reasons I have to loathe the use of Inverted Christian paraphernalia (aside of the lack of finesse of some wanton Satanists, to begin with). Blasphemy traps us inside the cultural triangle. Even though the prophane use of Holy imagery is a great way to shut some fundamentalists up and have some kicks, it should be used carefully as a belligerance tool and shold NEVER be used in rituals, in my opinion. Remember: it takes the same amount of faith to step on a cross or to kiss it. And if your faith is placed in something else besides your own might, skills and knowledge, how do you expect to experiment all the mysteries outside the triangle?
Through a silly game of associations, I realized that I could actually imagine the Fourth Stooge. He was just like Iggy Pop: a frantic, energetic entertainer, willing to indulge in some of the most ludicruous antics to amuse the audience. Imagine that: while Curly (or Shemp or Curly Joe), Larry and Moe were stuck and restricted to their usual slapstick grimoire, Iggy would roll in broken glass, spread himself with peanut butter and get naked to the audience's surprise and disgust... and maybe, to the audience's surprise and delight...
Then again: Abandon all hope all Ye who would think and say "Iggy and The Stooges? Dude, that's so faaaaar out, maaaaaan!"
So, here's another ritual, complimentary to the "Wash and Wear Conscience ritual".
******The Ookiespookie Invocation of the Fourth Stooge******
The intention of this ritual is to celebrate and, in some way, experience the Fouth Dimension of Reason in a guttural, sensorial way. Since this ritual is kind of abrassive, it is adviced to White Light magicians to draw a protection circle and be quite meticulous with the further cleansing rituals. As usual, these rituals lean towards Satanic magic but can be adapted to other denominations.
Remember that rituals work as a circuit: There is a source of energy (be it an element, a deity, a demon or the warlock's/witch's own energy), a conductor (the invocations and use of symbols) which lead to a result (think of a lightbulb getting lit), a switch to control the flow of energy (the opening and closing of the ritual) and some isolation (usually, the banishing rituals or some magick ascepsia is in order).
For this ritual you need:
- A Gong or a rich, resonating bell.
- Elixir. I strongly suggest one of my own, which I call "Sweet Tooth"
On a whiskey glass, dip two or three spoonfuls of maple syrup (if you can get natural Vermont or Canadian maple syrup, even better. If not, regular Aunt Jemima will do. Whatever you do, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DIET SYRUPS OR BUTTER-FLAVORED SYRUPS! the foretaste is nasty!), then fill with bourbon (Jack Daniels is the best suited for this purposes... any bourbon will do. Don't try to use Scotch, since it's a bloody shame to take a 12-years bottle and mix it with anything.). Remember to be wise: If you're gonna drink, don't drive. Like George Carlin said: "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck".
- Something to eat afterwards. A table of cheeses, smoked meats, red fruits (such as red apples, strawberries, cherries...) and prosciutto goes perfectly well.
- Cinnamon incense sticks.
- Music. To honor the Fourth Stooge, I'd suggest "Raw Power". What a great record...
- Some elegant attire is in order. Personally, I think robes and cloaks are attached to certain Medieval aesthetic which is counter-productive, since it reinforces the Law of Three. Instead of hoods, you should go for animal masks so you can freely express yourself throughout the ritual's peak.
- Candles. Red and purple candles are the best choice. If your affiliations demand black and/or white candles, observe the protocols but make sure there are plenty of colored candles to light the room.
The ritual starts with the Gong or bell rung nine times by the officing Priest/Priestess or both, in unison. Proper invocations are made, the elixir is shared in a toast.
The Priest/Priestess reads aloud:
"Within the confines of the Triangle
I have realized that my Spirit
can no longer feed from Light or Shadows
nor from the boundaries of both.
(If there's a congregation, they should repeat every line after it's read After each passage is repeated, the congregation must hit the table with the right hand four times in a marching demeanor, building up speed and passion as the ritual is performed).
They taught me that all the colors
that have embellished my life
are nothing but black and white
and all that is between.
They have confined me
within their dogmas
and their fears
and put a price to my head.
They have confined me
within three cardinal points
that lead nowhere.
that lead towards a void.
They have turned gold into charcoal
and silver into lead.
I can no longer taste with pleasure
the fruits from the Tree of Wisdom.
(The Priest/Priestess reads with building crescendo. It is expected that the congregation will follow with bursting passion.)
Well, foul game won't hold me back!
No veils will fool my sight!
I shall escape from the three-cornered prison!
I shall see what no one ever dared to look in the eye!
For I spit in the face of fear!
I won't pay for the Truth I deserve!
It is my privilege as a miracle of creation
to revel in this hidden realm!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
I demand to see the Truth!
For I shall not fear what's real!
For I shall not fear what's real!
For I shall NOT FEAR WHAT'S REAL!
FOR I SHALL NOT FEAR WHAT'S REAL!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
SHUU-RAAH!
(The "SHUU-RAAH!" passage is repeated four times, with guttural gusto, rolling the bowels. This exclamation is just a phonetic way to de-attach from linguistic thoughts and induce some bravado amongst the congregation or in solitary rituals. It has no real meaning, it's just some kind of an abrassive mantra. Once certain levels of exhaustion arise and consciousness seems partially defeated by a trance, the Priest/Priestess reads:)
I will never go back,
yet I'll wander through the ruins
of the forge, that once was my prison,
in peace.
I will never forget,
that there is a fourth side
that lives within me,
through and around me.
My mind is fertile again,
open in virginal expectation
to quiet sunsets
and vibrant sundawns.
(The Priest/Priestess says "so it is done" and rings the Gong or bell nine times. The Elixir is served for everyone as they get ready to eat and have a pleasant evening. If the "Wash And Wear Conscience" is performed beforehand, the Gong or bell will be rung ony after both of the rituals are performed and the Elixir will only be served once... we don't want to puke in our most diabolically sexy attire or inside our piggy mask, do we?).
There you go. I hope you like your flirt with the Fourth Stooge.
VINCIT!
Y.I.S.
Rev. Jakob Koshkat
Thanks you. It gets lonely being evil...
Share it with your friends. It's fun for all ages.
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Rev. Jakob Koshkat |
2:37 PM
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